Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Friday, October 28, 2005First, before my entry, let me erm, do this lil nonsense passed on by my best pal-snail.. haha!7 things that scare me: 1) bad results 2) becoming fat again 3) being hurt 4) any insect, not well-liked by humans(not to me at least), and just bascially gross. 5) being alone 6) losing the ones i love deeply 7) to make a wrong decision 7 things that i like most: 1) chocolate 2) family and friends 3) the ability to help others 4) badminton 5) SAC 6) music 7) smiles 7 important things in my room: 1) bed of course 2) my books, which are super costly and extremely dear to me.. =) 3) my soft toys... all over the place 4) clothes 5) piano 6) air conditioner of course! 7) lights. 7 random facts about me: 1) i'm on my way to become a FULL TIME NERD =D 2) i'm a rather shy person 3) i can nag 4) i can never get angry for too long 5) i am a qualified first aider 6) i complain 24/7 but never mean it 7) i'm attached 7 things i plan to do before i die: 1) to build a happy family 2) to help as many people as i can 3) to at least get ONE couple together 4) to repay everyone who've helped me in my life 5) to try as many food places as possible 6) to be a pro badminton player =X 7) get a tan =/ 7 things i can do: 1) nag 2) play a BIT of the piano 3) whack both balls and people 4) make noise 5) be a listening ear 6) be a match maker 7) to be there for others 7 things i cant do: 1) not lose my temper easily 2) tolerate vulgarities 3) be TOO late 4) sadly phy, which i can't drop 5) explore the low range of my voice 6) not being a kpo 7) have a good impression of pple who have foul mouths 7 things i say most: 1) oh freak 2) huh? 3) what? 4) orh 5) anything lor 6) up to u lar 7) scissors paper stone 7 celebrity crushes: 1) erm... this is super hard... let's see... chad michael murry? 2) this guy in mediacorp. have no idea what his name is 3) james lye 4) ben affleck 5) wang li hom 6) legolas in lord of the rings 7) this chinese guy in 1 of my mum's VCDs =D 7 people who have to do this: 1) my 3 sisters of course 2) anyone who reads this 3) my classmates 4) all my fellow school mates 5) all my ex-fellow school mates 6) my dog 7) my family alright, having that done, i can now do my entry: Today was a horrid day. My PW group leader flared up just because 1 of our members forgot to bring his PI and EOM and i had passed on the wrong msg. Alright, that's partially my fault, but the fact is that the teacher herself already has 1 copy so why fret? next, even if we forgot to bring, he could think of a way out and there's no need to flare. and everyone makes mistakes and so do i, so obviously i got mad. Alright, so i was raving mad for most of the day. And there was something else... no, there were 2 other things on my mind. The following paragraph will explain 1: Your love life is somewhat topsy-turvy now, for although your emotions are very intense, something isn't feeling quite right. You'd rather not get hung up on little things that can get in the way of the more important issues, but there is a small problem that you may not be able to set aside. The stakes feel high -- and they are. Remain determined to set things straight and you will find a way. This is according to the daily horoscope. Not sure if its true, but i do feel somewhat like that. I'm not sure just what the problem is, and i don't even know how to approach it. but i know it'll all work out in the end. i have faith in that. The other is... ah wells. This matter i have to wash my hands off but yet i can't let it off my mind. You know, the so near yet so far kinda feeling. You want to help, want to wake the person up but the person just won't listen. And all ur speeches and words of concern seem meaningless. i guess i can only pray. yup, besides that, after PW, i wasn't all that angry anymore cos anyways, no point making myself angry and making things difficult for everyone rite. just 2 more weeks and its over. i bet my PW group leader can't stand me too, so just 2 more weeks and that's it. that's all folks. take care! Thursday, October 27, 2005First, i gotta make a sincere apology to those who were erm, shocked at my behaviour toy regarding the racket, and i give my deepest appreciations for all ur help. yup... thank you all!!!especially to my sabby and eileen who could withstand all my nonsense. =) Well, today was a super slack day. After the first 2 periods of PW, there was bascially nothing much to do any more. Cos after that was 2 periods of physics which my teacher didn't have anything to do, so we headed to the hall to play badminton. Then play play, this guy came to say that h needed to set up the tables and chairs for exams, so couldn't play anymore. then we ran off to the tennis area and yup... started playing. haha... it was disastrous trust me... Then here comes the story of my missing racket, see, after keeping the nets into the cupboard, i headed towards the tennis courts without my racket, i totally lost sight of it, in fact, i totally forgot the fact that i had brought my racket with me, was too busy with the laptop and my uniform... so i didn't notice until about 1++ when the gang was heading towards ESSO cos xianhui wanted to get 8 days with a free bottle of lemon juice, but it was a pity as they didn't hav e it, anyhow, it was still a fruitful trip cos we all bought food. hahaha. Following that, i headed back to school and asked my class guys if they had seen my racket but in vain and so i was frantic. called mr lim to try and get the key but he was having lessons. felt so hopeless and embarrassed. cos of a little me i disrupted his lessons. felt really really bad. so yup.. cried... hahhaa... retarded me. alright... so anyways, i tried looking for it at the general office but erm, no sign, then went for chinese, was sleeping most of the time cos didn't really have the mood to.. so ya.. then suddenly, i saw mr lim pop by and he was holding........................... MY RACKET!!! haha! u could imagine my joy, my whole spirit just poof! and it uplifted. really extremely relieved. cos it had tons of sentimental value. =) yup. so that's about all for my day. *will be leaving for 12 days. wonder how i can take not talking to me bestest pals, not being able to use my phone, not getting hugs, not talking to my dog, so on and so forth. in fact, i'm not even sure if anything will happen. but for now, i do know i want to cherish all the time i spent with my friends and my dog. who knows what's gonnna happen 2mr rite. anyhow, no matter wat happens, i won't die that easily cos i know there're too many things that's left unsettled, things that i must complete before i go, things like being filial to my parents, watching my siblings grow. watching my best friends get hitched, spending more time with me dog etc etc. these million and one things just waiting for me to do,so i know i must get back to s'pore safely. and i will try my best =D* Saturday, October 22, 2005i'm most glad to announce that the whole of S11 has been promoted!!! haha... so happy...kinda worried about OP on mon, no in fact, i'm just worried, although handing in the WR was a major relieve for most of us, there's still this lil rock that's still stopping everyone from really taking a breather, and that's OP. rather sickening, can't wait to get it over and done with. To all peeps who've got their major exams and OP, all the best!! may u reap what u sow... =) hm... well, lets see, today, i went to patrina's house to teach her chem, can't say i'm a very good chem teacher, quite a lousy 1 in fact, but at least i could help a little. redid my alcohol tutorial and oh ya! this morning, i dropped my phone from the table, and my goodness, it was spoilt lar, or rather spoilt, until i took out the battery and tried again. it was erm, alright only. i just hope it doesn't die on me before i get a new phone or something... wonder what's with some people, giving me the cold shoulders... HM... i honestly feel that if anyone is unhappy with me over something, they should just talk it out with me, i mean like giving me the cold shoulders won't get nowhere... rite... so ya... anyhow, i guess i gotta go rush my OP now, take care 1 and all... alright, here's a compatability test taken from http://astrology.yahoo.com/ Cancer & Leo When Cancer and Leo make a love match, they understand and know how to satisfy basic emotional needs within one another. Both these Signs require dedication and tender, loving care, but while Cancer seeks stability and emotional harmony, Leo craves heartfelt compliments and sincere admiration. Both are strongly loyal, even to the point of possessiveness, Cancer for safety's sake, Leo for the sake of their self-confidence. They are also both committed to a enduring, rewarding connection. Since their desires are similar, a Cancer and a Leo may fill very important voids in each other's lives. Both Leo and Cancer prefer comfort and security, and they prefer both on a grand scale. Cancer and Leo enjoy a lovely home and a close-knit family. Leo provides the flair and the passion, and Cancer brings to the home a sensitive but intense instinct to nurture. Leo is the bigger and bolder and more vivid of this couple, the picture of majesty and status. Because both Signs are so strong-minded, these two must always work attentively to understand and accept one another. The intense and emotional Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, while the bright, bold Sun (the Self) rules Leo. The Sun is about ego and self, radiating warmth and light, and vibrant Leo indeed radiates this kind of energy and enthusiasm. The Moon concerns itself with nurturing, with creating and maintaining emotional connections. This combination of masculine and feminine energy is why the Sun and the Moon adore and sustain one another other as they do. The Sun represents life, and The Moon cultivation and growth; as long as they are mindful of their inherent differences, their combination can be a positive one. Cancer is a Water Sign, and Leo is a Fire Sign. Leo strives with an ardent energy toward praise and appreciation, while Cancer yearns more for security and stability. Both Signs like to take charge, but they come at a leadership role from very different directions. No small number of disputes can rise from this difference. As long as Cancer and Leo never take for granted their relationship, as long as they reassure one another in practical and romantic ways that this relationship is important to both of them, they can usually find a happy medium. Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Leo is a Fixed Sign. Under stress, Leo becomes opinionated and stubborn, and Cancer can act as a subtle manipulative force. Cancer's the persistent initiator of shared plans, and Leo channels their energies and works doggedly to move plans to completion. If given the choice, the Crab would choose a calm and stable life, having no need for glamour or acclaim. Leo, on the other hand, loves to shake things up and embraces the unexpected and the novel. Though a Leo and a Cancer may commit emotionally to a relationship, each of them can continue to follow their natural instincts AND devote themselves thoroughly and completely to one another. If, however, they haven't made their love intentions clear to one another, they may find themselves on a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride. Cancer, hiding behind that innocent shell of theirs, can be the more quietly controlling of this pair and might -- to a degree -- manipulate their Leo loved one when it seems practical to do so. What's the best aspect of the Cancer-Leo relationship? Their mutual commitment to a sincere relationship. Together this pair can share a supportive, positive and healthy vibe. People see them as a winning combination, and their mutual desire for a secure, loving relationship makes them strive for harmony Wednesday, October 19, 2005i finally managed to go out with my besties..today's outing wasn't tt meaningful actually cos we didn't get to talk much, we spent most of the time walking. we met at about 10 ++ which was initially 10 but as usual the snail and the turtle came late... but surprisingly, the snail arrived earlier than the turtle! haha... so we talked awhile till the neoprint shop opened and we went to talk neoprints! the pics weren't too bad but not enough time, we couldn't choose the nicest pictures which was rather upsetting, but nevertheless, it contained the most precious memories. mei yi had to leave at about 1 cos she had some learning journey on. After we sent her off, we shopped awhile at east point before entering Jack's Place(see, we arrived at eastpoint at about 1 and the students offer only started at 1.30p.m) we weren't exactly starving then cause we ate bread before we had the heavy lunch, and had a drink at macs. so ya, we were practically stuffing ourselves at Jack's place. tt excludes cindy though, as we all know, she has a HUGE appetite. yup... so after tt, we ate our fill and had to leave again, and we started walking and walking and walking, and obviously, the snail wasn't too please, cos the last thing she would wanna do is walk... haha... but nevertheless, i was really really pleased tt i could see my DEAR CINDY. she's the 1 that really knows me inside out(not tt snail and turtle don't but she knows me best) =) , and i'm really glad i have her as my bestie. i LOVE CINDY!!! haha, and i know she loves me too. whee!!! yup, so that's about all for today, the nitty gritty details all can leave our lar huh... oh ya, as for those whose gonna have their verdict today, all the best, i really hope to see you next year in the same class cos any 1 less wouldn't be the same S11 anymore. yup, that's all folks... take care!!! - i have a snail, and the snail isn't like any other, this snail of mine isn't sensitive, neither is she sweet, neither did she expect any of the following to take place. bascically, she fell in love. that isn't anything bad, in fact, she was on cloud 9, being the confident her, she reckoned relationships weren't hard to keep, and she wanted to test how long this could last. she knew no limits, that was her, but her stubborness, the way she was unreasonable made her stand out, and i guess thats wad made kitty fell for her. so, being the snail she was, she pushed and pushed and ventured further and further, and she lost it. she never meant to make anyone angry, she went overboard tt's true, but she never meant to make anyone extra mad, neither did she expect a whole long chain of stuff that'll make her feel humiliated, that'll make her lose all confidence. she wanted this to last, she cherished it so much, but mr kitty's little flirts here and there made her insecure, she never admitted it because she wanted to be seen as strong, like what a snail looks to be when in the shell. she didn't want to feel vulnerable. she just wanted to be a little more noticed, but i guess kitty never knew. i know i shouldn't be intruding, cos it really isn't any of my business, but i guess i can't bear to see my lil snail so traumatised and so lost with how to move on. i just hope kitty realises that he should never have used vulgarities, and never have shouted because it really really hurts, and since i'm female too, i know how it feels like to be shouted and yelled at. how heart breaking it is when someone just walks away. pls dun be angry at her anymore kitty. not easy, but no point with cold wars and anger rite. she really cares and u know that.- Tuesday, October 18, 2005alrightee!! first, i gotta say a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my SNAIL!!! haha...and the snail is none other then...CHERYL TANG YOKE LING' haha! u're FINALLY 17, old yeah? tsk tsk.. anyways, hope you like the pressie that me and mei yi gave u.. hope you can wear it actually.. spent a LONG time trying to get it.. =) yup, all the best once again in ur future endeavours and all the best for ur OP... take care and frens forever! hm.. i'm finally getting to see MY cindy 2mr... so busy eh tt girl.. wonder what's she's been up to.. hm.. guess i'll know 2mr! haha! yup, kinda sad tt some of us have stuff on but i guess its better than nothing? yup.. well well, there's loads of stuff tt i just found out... CHEERS to all who've found ur happiness... may u always stay blissful and happy, i wonder when those in my class is gonna let me give them my best wishes as well... =D so, i guess i'm not dropping any subject, just have to work extra extra hard and move forward... and do my best. kinda sad all my pals won't be taking physics anymore. sigh.. guess i'm 1 alone, but i know if i work hard... i can do it! =) yup, to those whose frustrated over their PW like i am, no sweat, its gonna be over sooner than we know, just hang in there alright? it'll all be over soon, and we're all in this together aren't we? jia you!!! Friday, October 14, 2005"forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others."Yet another quote from Tuesdays with Morrie. don't you find it really true? many a times we or at least i never fail to push the blame to someone else before myself. its always "his fault/her fault" though sometimes i meant it jokingly, but still, we ought to reflect and think, honestly, how many a times things went wrong cause of a mistake we made but never realise it. So i guess, at the end of the day, we all should blame ourselves before anyone else. =) Another verse from his the same book. Morrie says: "As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here." This is really true... i guess death is a painful thing to happen to anyone close to us, but i know that no matter what happens, these people would forever remain significant in our lives, and wewill always cherish them. hm... i guess forgiveness isn't really hard, it just depends how petty 1 is? don't you think? i can't not admit i'm a petty person.. haha, but at least i know how to put down my pride, which isn't an easy thing to do... and thankfully i forget things easily so it isn't all that hard for me to forget stuff, which is also good. In this way, u can forgive and forget much easier... haha... yup, so here's something for my bestie: guess i was rather harsh tt day, hope u understand that i was just erm.. disappointed. yup.. =) had OCIP meeting today, guess things are turning a little better, at least we've got some stuff going now, and we're more warmed up towards each other... oh ya, i nearly forgot, for the chem promo paper, i got a C, not D... which means i got CCCO, before any moderation, and the unfinalised grades. and to those who'll be having their verdict on weds, all the best... i'll keep u all in my prayers... take care 1 and all!!! oh ya! CINDY!!! READ HERE!!! hehe.. we wont be having school on weds, can u meet up? it'll just be me and u if the rest can't, cause i'm rather afraid i wouldn't have anymore time to meet up cause ocip and pw really's sucking out my life... haha... yup.. hope to see ya soon! Thursday, October 13, 2005i was reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" just now, and i felt much better after reading it, not so much disappointment anymore. i guess i was a bit mad just now.. u know writing stuff down in a moment of frenzy. anyhow, i still think i should take a break... yup..Anyways, there're some verses from the book i found really meaningful and i'd like to share. This verse is taken from the Ninth Tuesday Mitch spends with Morrie and they touch on the topic of how love goes on. Here, Morrie speaks of being with someone fully and most attentively when u spend time with him/her. He says: "I believe in being fully present, that means you should be with the person you're with. When i'm talking to you now. Mitch, i try to keep focused only on what is going on between ys. I am not thinking about something we said last weel. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking. I am talking to you, I am thinking about you." That's really true isn't it. We ought to be totally with the person when we spend time with him or her but it isn't always that case. Our mind always drifts off to think about other stuff and wonder about other things. how rude. haha... Here's another verse. Taken from the tenth week about marriage. "there are a few rules i know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a commom set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of troubles. Your values must be alike. " i found it really true not only for married couples but for couples now. yup.. so to all the couples out there... take Morris's advice ya.. haha... yup... so anyways... i'm off now.. take care everyone!!! i'm seriously irritated. i hate planning stuff, i mean no one does. u plan something and no 1 turns up.. how do feel? pissed, disppointed. next, u try planning for an outing with ur pals, because no 1 else wants to plan but u have to accomodate to this and that, and pple give u reasons like i'm tired etc etc.. i mean okay, its not not understandable but the thing is, everytime u plan for this sort of outing, 1 will be shot. otherwise that 1 or 2 comes reluctantly, how do feel? i mean in this case, u'd rather the person not come then cause otherwise he'll just be a wet blanket rite? u take time and effort to plan, to try and fit in everyone's schedule but at the end of it all, someone will still be unhappy. its so freaking tough to do this kinda nonsense seriously. sometimes i wonder y i even bother. i mean like if that person just doesn't want to go out with the group anymore then say it, don't give excuses here and there and then say "u all go ahead without me lar"... what happened to the forever friends thing? sheesh. well i mean i understand some of these reasons r genuine such as i totally forgot kinda thing, but ya.. that's it, i think i'm just gonna sit back and relax and wait for something to happen, i've got ocip to worry over and i've got my WR to keep me kept. doubt i have anymore time.. too tired. its so odd how people can change after going to new schools and meeting new friends, i mean like.. argh.. never mind.. just kinda pissed with 2 things today. 1 the ocip. and the other.. i shan't mention. 1. i gotta hand in a schedule for what we're going to teach 2MR and so far, its a blank piece of paper. 2. got to get the WR done by today cause we have to hand it in 2mr and the WR is screwed. so many nonsense to change. fortunately my PW grp leader is 1 nice guy.. haha yup... 2 things on my list and i'm dying.. wonder how much more i can take. sheesh. guess i'm just in 1 foul mood. ah vells.. ranting is a rather good way of letting off steam. better than taking it out on someone don't u think... alright, on a lighter note, the final verdict for my promos... CCOD. i got a C for econs!!! wheee!!! kinda scrapped through chinese but failed GP. yup, i FAILED GP. wonder y some pple r shocked. kinda expected it, but still upset cause my expectation came true. haha. yup. that's all for now.. study hard everyone... tc.. Wednesday, October 12, 2005codfish anyone? anyways, the alphabets above represent whatever results i've gotten back so far, namely, C-math, D-chem, O-phy... didn't quite expect to do so badly for physics, neither did i expect to pass math tt well.. anyhow, i gotta thank god for all the help and moral support... he helped me a whole lot.a prayer for everyone: Dear Lord, I pray for everyone taking their exams, for everyone collecting their results, and those who have collected but are unhappy, give them the strength to work and strive harder, don't let them lose faith, give them the courage to move on and let the people around them continue to support them no matter what and give us all the motivation and self discipline to work hard. i pray for all taking their o levels that they may be focused especially my friends back at SAC.. and to all the a level pupils, my seniors that they will take it calmly and do their best. and i pray for all the teachers as well, that they may have the strength and courage to move every step together with the pupils and guide them to getting the best results... i pray for all the victims of natural disasters that they may find peace within themselves and have the will to move on with life... i pray for my family and basically.. for everyone out there that they may be in the pink of health and live life happily and simply.. this i ask through christ our lord. Amen. hm.. by right i'm not a catholic nor a christian but i've gotten so use to praying after being in SAC for 10 years and i'm glad i've learnt how to pray... =) so take care everyone... *hugz* Monday, October 10, 2005guess what that means... it stands for... Afraid, Sacred, Anxious.i'm really really terrified about my results, i mean ya, people keep telling me not to worry this and that, but the fact is i can't help it cause i've got no confidence at all. SIGH. i really want to promote, okay, then again, who doesn't. alright.. everybody wants to promote, some know they're gonna do well, many found the papers doable but i just have no confidence at all, where does that put me? ah wells, i guess i'm not intellectually gifted, neither am i talented anywhere else, maybe except talking a lot, no in fact, talking a lot of rubbish, but ah!!! sigh.. nvm.. anyways, i shall step out of my gloomy mood before i affect everyone. alright pple.. RISE AND SHINE!!! haha... going for a class bbq later, hope i'll have fun... then again, i will cause all my pals are going.. for once... hehe... goodie... hope the food's edible.. wonder if anyone bought honey for sausages... then again, r there any sausages.. anyhow.. i really wonder where's MY CINDY... ay woman!!! when u free to go out... saturdays' are out of the question right? (please say no..) =) yup, nothing more to say.. take care one and all!! Saturday, October 08, 2005great, my teacher just sent a msg to me saying that 2 people in our class didn't get at ;east an E grade.. and he told me and only me!!!! ARGH!!!! oh freak, and i just counted the number of marks i missed, which is the number of questions i skipped here and there...i think i don't qualify for an E grade. darn. i'm super screwed, super duper screwed, never felt so screwed up. don't even have the mood to do anything now. help...i'm praying really hard for whoever those 2 classmates of mine are... *PRAYS* please join me along in my prayer. argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh man, just let me promote pls... damn it, i just want to get up... argh!!!! and i studied, or at least i THINK i studied, i did work hard(to some extent), at least much harder than how i had worked for common test, please don't disppoint me... no come to think of it, let EVERYONE promote, cause everyone really worked their butts off and we all deserve to promote... pls pls pls... Wednesday, October 05, 2005well, i guess promos are about to be over. i've 2 papers left and i shouldn't be here playing away, but i can't help it, haha, guess its just the wo-hoo moment soon, if u get what i mean. all i've left is econs paper 2 which you can't really study for and phy mcq... finally gonna mug with my 2 besties again.. and soon, i can see my other bestie too!!! whee!!!!alright, the previous papers sucked totally, i just really hope i can get promoted. away with with the Bs and Cs and Ds i aimed for... ah wells, *prays hard* i hope everyone gets promoted. yup yup... ok, i guess my life's been rather mundane except for a few surprises here and there, and how much i miss my bestest pals once again. my good'ol cindy and xueling and my many many other friends... hai... that's it, after promos, its part time nerd, full time with friends and ocip which will take half my life and PW, which will officially kill me. haha.. but ah wells, i guess for now, i can only hope for the best. oh right, i nearly forgot to announce. 7/11 is having an official sale for snickers now!!!! they're going at a dollar each!!! while stocks last!!! hurry!!! haha... just having this chocolate craze right now.. can't take it.. chocolates are just irrisistable don't u agree.. alright... nothing more to say.. tata! take care and good luck to all!!! |